Newspaper Archive of
The Clarendon Enterprise
Clarendon, Texas
Lyft
July 15, 2004     The Clarendon Enterprise
PAGE 2     (2 of 10 available)        PREVIOUS     NEXT      Full Size Image
 
PAGE 2     (2 of 10 available)        PREVIOUS     NEXT      Full Size Image
July 15, 2004
 

Newspaper Archive of The Clarendon Enterprise produced by SmallTownPapers, Inc.
Website © 2018. All content copyrighted. Copyright Information.     Terms Of Use.     Request Content Removal.




i:i  !,i ! !: %!'  il  Y The Clarendon Enterprise July 15, 2004 WARNING: The following column is an editorial (i.e. an opinion, a point of view) and may contain ideas with which some readers may freely disagree. It could be harmful to liberals, socialists, and other small mammals, Read at your own New battles keep coming in War on Fat It's a well-known fact that people who read the ENTERPRISE have the edge. They know what's going on and what's coming down the pike. Case in point - the War on Fat. Several years ago, this column was one of the lone voices warning that the War on Tobacco would eventually spread to other areas of life's pleasures. I'm sure many people thought I was a bit out of my gourd when I said trial lawyers, whiners, and other busybodies would take on fast food, sweets, and other cull- editor's nary delights, commentary - But today we live in a world by ,ogtr dk where several fast food chains have been sued for making their customers fat and where the Texas Fuehrer of Agriculture thinks its her job to make school cafeteria meals even more disgust- ing than they were when I was a kid by banning any- thing that might possibly taste good. Last week, yet another obesity-related lawsuit was filed. This time some blowhard in California (where else?) has sued McDonald's because Mickey D's sup- posedly hasn't yet switched to a lower-fat cooking oil like they said they would. Translation: Eating fried food from McDonald's can still make you fat. (Gasp!) According to Reuters, Katherine Fettke "claims that she would not have bought McDonald's Filet-O- Fish and French fries for herself and Happy Meals, Chicken McNuggets and crispy chicken sandwiches for her children several times last year had she known the oil switch had not taken place?' The witch told Reuters: "I thought I was getting a better choice as far as fast food goes." Oh, please. Fried fish, fried potatoes, and fried processed chicken parts? Which part of that was the "better" choice? I'm not criticizing this lovely woman for her menu choic because God knows I love fried food. Although, I must say that after a research paper I did in a graduate-level environmental science class at Texas Tech, no Chicken McNugget will ever cross my lips. I haven't had one in nearly ten years now, and I don't intend to start. But I digress. As a grown woman, Fettke ought to know that fried fast food by definition isn't the most nutritious diet. McDonald's hasn't done anything wrong here other than being negligent in not requiring their cus- tomers to pass some basic stupidity test before they are served. Just as a side note, Fettke's attorney is the same fellow several months ago who filed suit against Kraft Foods to try to prevent them from selling Oreos to children in San Francisco because of the cookie's transfat content. A little closer to home, a sarcastic idea promoted by this column in May has apparently found fertile ground among the chicken poop in Arkansas. Regular readers may recall that after an inspired conversation with a dear friend, I wrote the following: "It only makes sense that while the school nurse is lining kids up to check their hearing, their eyesight, and any signs of scoliosis, that the state should require the munchkins to step up on the scales to check their tnnage. The records of those who are found to be obese, in the state's opinion, should be flagged and immediately turned over to Child Protective Services/' You no doubt thought I was kidding, but Arkan- sas health officials must have seen some values there because one month later Fox News reported that state was going to start issuing two report cards for their students - one for classroom grades and another for weight grades. Little Rock School District health coordina- tor Margo Bushmiaer praised the new report cards saying, "We're going to know how many [kids] are overweight, how many are underweight, how many are normal weight." Fox also reported that some parents were less than thrilled with the idea. Some were worded that chubby students might be teased for being overweight, and others pointed out that placing such importance on weight could drive some older girls to become bulimic or anorexic. But not every state official is rolling over for the Health Nazis. Steven Milloy of junkscience.cora. reported late last month that Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee demanded to see proof of a causal relation- ship between the presence of soda vending machines in schools and childhood obesity before he approved allowing the state to restrict such machines. Milloy published the results of a study monitoring the beverage consumption of 2,716 students dating a school year, which found the calories consumed from soft drinks on average was very negligible - about 31 calories per capita per week. Meanwhile... Der fuehrer, Susan Combs, was honored by the Time/ABC News Summit on Obesity as one of six American heroes for her work on childhood obesity. According to a press release from tier fuehr,s office, "Texas was lauded for the innovative and progressive approaches it is taking;' which included restricting portions of chips, cookies, and frozen des- serts and phasing out deep-fat frying in schools. Let's all give Susan a big "Sieg hell!" Look behind the scenes of Life's Lessons "All columnists should be beaten to a pulp and converted back to paper." As I am approaching my 100th column, I'm begin- ning to agree. I just have to tell you how impossible it is sometimes to write these silly things. I sat down almost an hour ago, and this is my fourth or fifth attempt at a beginning. I've been on vacation this week, and I've done my damdest not to learn any life lessons. Instead, I'm going to give you an inside look at how my column is born. There really is no secret to it. Some- times you just get lucky. Sometimes you find something that makes you furious i.e., Denise Austin) and there is no end to the volume of words, My columns gener- ally ran between six and seven hundred words, and sometimes it takes hard work to restrain myself. If it has been a quiet week in those terms, I try to find inspiration in my read- ing. Remember the one about cows, bulls, and rainbow trout? I started with a quote from Lady Chatterley's Lover and ended up with a 4-H lesson on the birds and bees. This one started with a quote from Sabr/na, an old Audrey Hepburn flick, and I'm not exactly sure where it is going at this point. When I know it's getting close to Monday and I haven't got an idea going yet, I consult my staff. Great comedy begins at home. When we sit at the dinner table, I throw out a topic like Communism, point to someone and say, "Go." That's their cue to give me a one- liner. Come Sunday night, everyone in the family is throwing ideas at me. You can life's lessons blame Dad for this by carrie balms week's issue. If they can't bring the funny, you can always make fun of them. This can be dangerous, so I recommend practicing what we in the journalism racket call "prior restraint." In layman's terms, let your room read it before it goes to print. Trust me, everyone will be happier if you do. If all else fails, I start out with some seemingly insignificant incident that hap- pened during the week, over-dramatize it, over-exaggerate every detail, make up what I can't remember, find some way to blame a boy for what went wrong, and voila! A column! The key is to have a cause or causes. Mine happen to be women's rights and getting a date. Yours may be different. You may have a thing for saving the whales or fighting inheritance tax or, you know, the right to bear arms. I don't know. Don't be afraid to get personal. Bare your soul. Let everything out. Air your dirty laundry. Let people get to know the real you. And don't be afraid to use the free space as one long, serialized personal ad. I know I never miss a chance to let everyone know just how sweet, charming, and single I am. I know one day it will pay off. It sounds fairly glamorous, but I must warn you: being a columnist is not for the faint of heart. People are always threaten- ing to turn you into paper, and once you build up a following, there's an enormous amount of pressure out there. When I started out almost two years ago, I had no idea that I would still be at it. I thought surely Roger would come to his senses after a month or two and block my e-mall address. It never occurred to me that people would actually be reading it. But. it turns out that people do read it. I meet readers face to face. They know everything about me, and I'm a little freaked out by this. Add to that a Panhandle Press Asso- ciation third place ribbon for best serious column (who knew I was serious?) and you've got a lot of pressure to perform and keep performing. I'm an award-winning journalist, and you deserve that kind of quality every week. I know as well as anyone that I put out some real stinkers more often than I care to admit. But I'm watching a lot of TV following the presidential race, and I have my staff working around the clock. I've got a couple of good stories left ff you'll just stay with we. 3"HkT k LITTLF. Tobacco proposals trample free speech By b'tacle Rumenap In Washington, there is never a short- age of ideas on new regulations that some- one would like to impose on the American people or American commerce. One such proposal now pending in Congress is a plan to have the Food and Drag Adminis- tration regulate all tobacco products. As Tim Nmv Yoi TIMES reported last week, proponents, led by Tom Davis (R-VA) and Henry Waxman (D-CA) in the House, and Mike DeWine (R-OH) and Ted Kennedy (D-MA) in the Senat,e are pushing for leg- islation that would "let the Food and Drug Administration regulate tobacco as a drug." The tobacco regulation movement is gathering steam, and that shouldn't sur- prise anyone. After all, tobacco is often considered an easy political target. But there is one major problem with tobacco regulation legislation now under consid- eration. It runs afoul of a cornerstone of American democracy: The First Amend- rat fight of free speech. When most Americans think of "free speech" they think of the right to tell people their views on political candidates or the right to author a newspaper column such as this. But another important aspect of Constitutionally-guaranteed free speech is the fight of companies to make state- ments about their products through adver- tising or other means, so long as those statements are truthful. Such statements are generally known as "commercial free speech," and the tobacco regulation bill now before Congress snubs its nose at those rights. One section of the pending legisla- tion would effectively prohibit a tobacco company or tobacco distributor from com- municating truthful information about the relative risks of tobacco products. Indeed, this type of communication by distributors is directly and specifically prohibited by the bill. In the case of tobacco compa- nies, conveying risk information that isn't approved by the FDA would be a violation of the new law. Conveniently, this section of the bill ignores the fact that the First Amendment does not permit the govern- ment to declare a subject that is of scien- tific and public policy interest to tobacco companies and distributors to be off limits to public discussion. Recent court decisions have held that the FDA can't prohibit truthful, non-mis- leading product claims on policy grounds. But provisions of the pending legislation would do just that. Even though this legislation is prob- lematic from a Constitutional perspective, it shouldn't surprise anyone that such language has found its way into the bill. After all, some of the leading proponents are organizations such as the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids, the American Heart Association, and the American Cancer Society which have long championed restrictions on what tobacco companies could say about themselves. Fortunately, the anti-tobacco campaigners don't trump the First Amendment. The on-going debate of how best to educate Americans about tobacco is a legitimate one.. But for that debate to go forward in a reasonable and fair manner, the right of all parties to speak the truth must be preserved. Fortunately, the First Amendment is on the side of preserving that fight. Free speech- either political or commercial - is a bedrock principle not only of American law but also of America's character and culture. It always has been, and must remain so. The tobacco bill now before Congress is inconsistent with that principle and should be rejected." Stacte Rumermp Is Deputy Director of the Arnerican Conservative Union, the tflon's ok:k and largest conservative grauroots organization. Amarillo reader enjoys special edition My late husband, Frank White, and I enjoyed reading your newspaper each week for many years. Bill Lowe was kind enough to share the Diamond Anniversary [Do.Ev COUNTY IJ.DBR, July 1, 2004] issue with me. Although I was particularly proud of the news article about the founding of the Clarendon Hatchery, I enjoyed all of tt historical articles and sent copies to my son and daughter. You had great fun, I imagine, in researching past newspapers for interest- ing stories from the past. Congratulations to you and your staff for publishing a consistently clear, correct paper about Clarendon and the surrounding cities as well. Lynn White, Amarillo Editor's Response: Thank you, Lynn. We do have a good time digging through the archives and pulling out a few gems to share with everyone. We're glad that read- ers enjoy it, too. Helms needs syndication One of the reasons I look forward to receiving my ENTERPRISE each week is to read "Life's Lessons" by Carrie He,us. Her style, subject matter, and humor are outstanding. Her column compares favor- ably with all of the syndicated columnists I read in the CoRpus Cmusm C.-. Her column definitely needs to be in syndi- cation for all to enjoy. Jim Butler, Corpus Christi Editor's Response: We love Carrie, too. But syndication ? I think it would be better if everyone just gets a subscription to the Emd, RISE instead. On The Mark i:i  !,i ! !: %!'  il  Y The Clarendon Enterprise July 15, 2004 WARNING: The following column is an editorial (i.e. an opinion, a point of view) and may contain ideas with which some readers may freely disagree. It could be harmful to liberals, socialists, and other small mammals, Read at your own New battles keep coming in War on Fat It's a well-known fact that people who read the ENTERPRISE have the edge. They know what's going on and what's coming down the pike. Case in point - the War on Fat. Several years ago, this column was one of the lone voices warning that the War on Tobacco would eventually spread to other areas of life's pleasures. I'm sure many people thought I was a bit out of my gourd when I said trial lawyers, whiners, and other busybodies would take on fast food, sweets, and other cull- editor's nary delights, commentary - But today we live in a world by ,ogtr dk where several fast food chains have been sued for making their customers fat and where the Texas Fuehrer of Agriculture thinks its her job to make school cafeteria meals even more disgust- ing than they were when I was a kid by banning any- thing that might possibly taste good. Last week, yet another obesity-related lawsuit was filed. This time some blowhard in California (where else?) has sued McDonald's because Mickey D's sup- posedly hasn't yet switched to a lower-fat cooking oil like they said they would. Translation: Eating fried food from McDonald's can still make you fat. (Gasp!) According to Reuters, Katherine Fettke "claims that she would not have bought McDonald's Filet-O- Fish and French fries for herself and Happy Meals, Chicken McNuggets and crispy chicken sandwiches for her children several times last year had she known the oil switch had not taken place?' The witch told Reuters: "I thought I was getting a better choice as far as fast food goes." Oh, please. Fried fish, fried potatoes, and fried processed chicken parts? Which part of that was the "better" choice? I'm not criticizing this lovely woman for her menu choic because God knows I love fried food. Although, I must say that after a research paper I did in a graduate-level environmental science class at Texas Tech, no Chicken McNugget will ever cross my lips. I haven't had one in nearly ten years now, and I don't intend to start. But I digress. As a grown woman, Fettke ought to know that fried fast food by definition isn't the most nutritious diet. McDonald's hasn't done anything wrong here other than being negligent in not requiring their cus- tomers to pass some basic stupidity test before they are served. Just as a side note, Fettke's attorney is the same fellow several months ago who filed suit against Kraft Foods to try to prevent them from selling Oreos to children in San Francisco because of the cookie's transfat content. A little closer to home, a sarcastic idea promoted by this column in May has apparently found fertile ground among the chicken poop in Arkansas. Regular readers may recall that after an inspired conversation with a dear friend, I wrote the following: "It only makes sense that while the school nurse is lining kids up to check their hearing, their eyesight, and any signs of scoliosis, that the state should require the munchkins to step up on the scales to check their tnnage. The records of those who are found to be obese, in the state's opinion, should be flagged and immediately turned over to Child Protective Services/' You no doubt thought I was kidding, but Arkan- sas health officials must have seen some values there because one month later Fox News reported that state was going to start issuing two report cards for their students - one for classroom grades and another for weight grades. Little Rock School District health coordina- tor Margo Bushmiaer praised the new report cards saying, "We're going to know how many [kids] are overweight, how many are underweight, how many are normal weight." Fox also reported that some parents were less than thrilled with the idea. Some were worded that chubby students might be teased for being overweight, and others pointed out that placing such importance on weight could drive some older girls to become bulimic or anorexic. But not every state official is rolling over for the Health Nazis. Steven Milloy of junkscience.cora. reported late last month that Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee demanded to see proof of a causal relation- ship between the presence of soda vending machines in schools and childhood obesity before he approved allowing the state to restrict such machines. Milloy published the results of a study monitoring the beverage consumption of 2,716 students dating a school year, which found the calories consumed from soft drinks on average was very negligible - about 31 calories per capita per week. Meanwhile... Der fuehrer, Susan Combs, was honored by the Time/ABC News Summit on Obesity as one of six American heroes for her work on childhood obesity. According to a press release from tier fuehr,s office, "Texas was lauded for the innovative and progressive approaches it is taking;' which included restricting portions of chips, cookies, and frozen des- serts and phasing out deep-fat frying in schools. Let's all give Susan a big "Sieg hell!" Look behind the scenes of Life's Lessons "All columnists should be beaten to a pulp and converted back to paper." As I am approaching my 100th column, I'm begin- ning to agree. I just have to tell you how impossible it is sometimes to write these silly things. I sat down almost an hour ago, and this is my fourth or fifth attempt at a beginning. I've been on vacation this week, and I've done my damdest not to learn any life lessons. Instead, I'm going to give you an inside look at how my column is born. There really is no secret to it. Some- times you just get lucky. Sometimes you find something that makes you furious i.e., Denise Austin) and there is no end to the volume of words, My columns gener- ally ran between six and seven hundred words, and sometimes it takes hard work to restrain myself. If it has been a quiet week in those terms, I try to find inspiration in my read- ing. Remember the one about cows, bulls, and rainbow trout? I started with a quote from Lady Chatterley's Lover and ended up with a 4-H lesson on the birds and bees. This one started with a quote from Sabr/na, an old Audrey Hepburn flick, and I'm not exactly sure where it is going at this point. When I know it's getting close to Monday and I haven't got an idea going yet, I consult my staff. Great comedy begins at home. When we sit at the dinner table, I throw out a topic like Communism, point to someone and say, "Go." That's their cue to give me a one- liner. Come Sunday night, everyone in the family is throwing ideas at me. You can life's lessons blame Dad for this by carrie balms week's issue. If they can't bring the funny, you can always make fun of them. This can be dangerous, so I recommend practicing what we in the journalism racket call "prior restraint." In layman's terms, let your room read it before it goes to print. Trust me, everyone will be happier if you do. If all else fails, I start out with some seemingly insignificant incident that hap- pened during the week, over-dramatize it, over-exaggerate every detail, make up what I can't remember, find some way to blame a boy for what went wrong, and voila! A column! The key is to have a cause or causes. Mine happen to be women's rights and getting a date. Yours may be different. You may have a thing for saving the whales or fighting inheritance tax or, you know, the right to bear arms. I don't know. Don't be afraid to get personal. Bare your soul. Let everything out. Air your dirty laundry. Let people get to know the real you. And don't be afraid to use the free space as one long, serialized personal ad. I know I never miss a chance to let everyone know just how sweet, charming, and single I am. I know one day it will pay off. It sounds fairly glamorous, but I must warn you: being a columnist is not for the faint of heart. People are always threaten- ing to turn you into paper, and once you build up a following, there's an enormous amount of pressure out there. When I started out almost two years ago, I had no idea that I would still be at it. I thought surely Roger would come to his senses after a month or two and block my e-mall address. It never occurred to me that people would actually be reading it. But. it turns out that people do read it. I meet readers face to face. They know everything about me, and I'm a little freaked out by this. Add to that a Panhandle Press Asso- ciation third place ribbon for best serious column (who knew I was serious?) and you've got a lot of pressure to perform and keep performing. I'm an award-winning journalist, and you deserve that kind of quality every week. I know as well as anyone that I put out some real stinkers more often than I care to admit. But I'm watching a lot of TV following the presidential race, and I have my staff working around the clock. I've got a couple of good stories left ff you'll just stay with we. 3"HkT k LITTLF. Tobacco proposals trample free speech By b'tacle Rumenap In Washington, there is never a short- age of ideas on new regulations that some- one would like to impose on the American people or American commerce. One such proposal now pending in Congress is a plan to have the Food and Drag Adminis- tration regulate all tobacco products. As Tim Nmv Yoi TIMES reported last week, proponents, led by Tom Davis (R-VA) and Henry Waxman (D-CA) in the House, and Mike DeWine (R-OH) and Ted Kennedy (D-MA) in the Senat,e are pushing for leg- islation that would "let the Food and Drug Administration regulate tobacco as a drug." The tobacco regulation movement is gathering steam, and that shouldn't sur- prise anyone. After all, tobacco is often considered an easy political target. But there is one major problem with tobacco regulation legislation now under consid- eration. It runs afoul of a cornerstone of American democracy: The First Amend- rat fight of free speech. When most Americans think of "free speech" they think of the right to tell people their views on political candidates or the right to author a newspaper column such as this. But another important aspect of Constitutionally-guaranteed free speech is the fight of companies to make state- ments about their products through adver- tising or other means, so long as those statements are truthful. Such statements are generally known as "commercial free speech," and the tobacco regulation bill now before Congress snubs its nose at those rights. One section of the pending legisla- tion would effectively prohibit a tobacco company or tobacco distributor from com- municating truthful information about the relative risks of tobacco products. Indeed, this type of communication by distributors is directly and specifically prohibited by the bill. In the case of tobacco compa- nies, conveying risk information that isn't approved by the FDA would be a violation of the new law. Conveniently, this section of the bill ignores the fact that the First Amendment does not permit the govern- ment to declare a subject that is of scien- tific and public policy interest to tobacco companies and distributors to be off limits to public discussion. Recent court decisions have held that the FDA can't prohibit truthful, non-mis- leading product claims on policy grounds. But provisions of the pending legislation would do just that. Even though this legislation is prob- lematic from a Constitutional perspective, it shouldn't surprise anyone that such language has found its way into the bill. After all, some of the leading proponents are organizations such as the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids, the American Heart Association, and the American Cancer Society which have long championed restrictions on what tobacco companies could say about themselves. Fortunately, the anti-tobacco campaigners don't trump the First Amendment. The on-going debate of how best to educate Americans about tobacco is a legitimate one.. But for that debate to go forward in a reasonable and fair manner, the right of all parties to speak the truth must be preserved. Fortunately, the First Amendment is on the side of preserving that fight. Free speech- either political or commercial - is a bedrock principle not only of American law but also of America's character and culture. It always has been, and must remain so. The tobacco bill now before Congress is inconsistent with that principle and should be rejected." Stacte Rumermp Is Deputy Director of the Arnerican Conservative Union, the tflon's ok:k and largest conservative grauroots organization. Amarillo reader enjoys special edition My late husband, Frank White, and I enjoyed reading your newspaper each week for many years. Bill Lowe was kind enough to share the Diamond Anniversary [Do.Ev COUNTY IJ.DBR, July 1, 2004] issue with me. Although I was particularly proud of the news article about the founding of the Clarendon Hatchery, I enjoyed all of tt historical articles and sent copies to my son and daughter. You had great fun, I imagine, in researching past newspapers for interest- ing stories from the past. Congratulations to you and your staff for publishing a consistently clear, correct paper about Clarendon and the surrounding cities as well. Lynn White, Amarillo Editor's Response: Thank you, Lynn. We do have a good time digging through the archives and pulling out a few gems to share with everyone. We're glad that read- ers enjoy it, too. Helms needs syndication One of the reasons I look forward to receiving my ENTERPRISE each week is to read "Life's Lessons" by Carrie He,us. Her style, subject matter, and humor are outstanding. Her column compares favor- ably with all of the syndicated columnists I read in the CoRpus Cmusm C.-. Her column definitely needs to be in syndi- cation for all to enjoy. Jim Butler, Corpus Christi Editor's Response: We love Carrie, too. But syndication ? I think it would be better if everyone just gets a subscription to the Emd, RISE instead. On The Mark